There are few things as special to me as relationships. I love working with people. I love learning about people. I love hearing their stories and celebrating their relationships. Sometimes this celebrating leads to thinking about my own (possible) future husband. I pray for him often and ask that if “he” isn’t to be, that these prayers would be used to bless some other man.
What follows is a simple letter, a glimpse into the hopes and dreams for whomever I may meet one day.
Dear Future Husband,
Here I am and there you are… I wonder where that may be! I think about the past 9 years that I have been writing letters to you. I keep them safe. I’ll probably laugh when I read them and see that eclectic 13 year old hand writing. I may be too embarrassed to even give them to you, but still, I have them. Writing helped me focus when I was tempted to let my dreams float around aimlessly then and it does the same now.
My love, I wonder about your story. Where has life taken you? Have you found that saving grace that is the core of true love? Are you peacefully sleeping or still awake, working on some project?
I wonder about your personality. Are you passionate about many different things or only a few? I think about what your love language may be; if you feel most respected when given quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch or gifts. I often think of how I want to practice giving these things to others around me…in hopes of blessing them and practicing so that I can bless you too.
I want to serve you well. I want to learn how to love and respect you in the best ways I can. I wish I could do it perfectly, but if I have learned anything over these two decades, it is that my battle for perfection will never ever be won. And I’m growing more thankful for that because if I did win that battle, I would never be drawn to the cross. What a sad day that would be! I want to be drawn closer and closer to the cross and in turn, should the Lord call me, closer to you too.
I pray that we would enjoy God more than anyone or anything else in this season.
I pray that we would be bold ambassadors for Christ and the gospel wherever we go.
I pray that we would meet God regularly in His Word.
I pray that we would build the foundation in this season for a home that is safe, inviting, and a life-giving to each other and others.
I pray that we would be a blessing to those around us.
I pray that we would lean into the relationships God has blessed us with today.
I pray that we would find ways to learn from marriages around us and find ways to invest in supporting the families around us.
I pray that we would live worthy of the gospel, cultivating shorter cycles of correction, confession, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
I pray that we would both develop, guard and model healthy, God honoring purity.
I pray that we would maintain a healthy rhythm of rest, knowing God loves us and runs the world.
I pray that we would grow in loving and investing in the local church.
I pray that we would hold what we have loosely and overflow freely in generosity.
I pray that we might sing.
My mind often struggles with concern about whether or not I will “be enough” for you. I know that is an unhealthy way to think so I work daily to counter those thoughts. Still, I dearly hope I can please you and make you proud. Perhaps this concern is more common for women. I don’t know, but I hope you don’t have to fight it too. I hope you never have to be concerned about being enough. I want to love you unconditionally. I want to learn to choose to love you more and more each day. Often, I think about all the small decisions I may be making in practicing that principle. I pray that we would both learn well now and glorify God through our love.
I look forward to our time together. As I seek to enjoy these fleeting moments in front of me more and more, I still look forward to meeting you. I can’t wait to see your face and look into your eyes. My heart jumps to think of holding your hand, let alone giving you a hug! Until then…
Go under the mercy,
Rachel
